Everything changes. Only change itself is permanent. Humans crave security
but it can only be found within ourselves. The world is constantly changing
around us. “You cannot step into the same river twice” we have heard, as the
river moves, and so does life.
How do we cope with constant external change? Clearly people do. Think of
army personnel regularly moved from place to place with their
families,changing workplaces, changing schools. Yet the world is not full of
ex-army sociopaths. So how do they do it?
Pause to think of young people volunteering around the world in different
places. Some never return permanently. Some cannot wait to get home and
settle down. Neither is perfect but each one finds their own way.
Change was never a problem for me. I happily moved house over and over, ever
new towns or cities, new friends and new opportunities to explore. I did not
have my parents around me, though I always knew they were there (in Ireland,
of course). Maybe that is the clue. There was always a path back if I needed
it. What if there is no path back? Where do you find the stability to stand
up and move forward?
The single constant that is present in our lives, however foolhardy, or
footloose, we may have been is the power of friends and family. If we have
someone to talk to who will accept us as we are, that gives great strength
and courage. Mostly we have dysfunctional families. The more I hear of my
friends’ family issues, the more I realise there is no such thing as the
perfect family, happy and supportive whatever happens.
Your crisis will occur on the same day your mother’s house is broken into.
Or your job will disappear from under you just when you didn’t see it coming
and your brother’s wife goes into labour. It is not always possible to find
an ear to listen when you exactly need it. Sometimes you have to wait for
sympathy until the other crisis has passed.
Life is like a storm. It passes. Asking to remain the same throughout all
circumstances is unrealistic. The people, the timing and the lessons emerge
in their own good time, not necessarily when you think you need them. If
you can just weather the changes that are brought about by time and place,
hanging on to what is most important to you, you can go along with most
changes.
In my case the constant was my two boys, whom I have always adored and let
them know that nothing, ever, would make me not love them. Of course they
have caused me grief from time to time, even often, as they were growing up.
But there was never a time when I wanted to hand them back. Thanks to the
good lord they have not been in circumstances where I have had to give up
care of them to others, and my heart goes out to those mothers whose
children have such severe disabilities that they cannot be cared for at
home.
How would we cope with that? Trust that you are, right now,exactly on the
very spot you were supposed to be in this lifetime. You and the Universal
Energy, God, the Divine, Nature, Allah or whatever you believe in, have
chosen this moment. So trust it is going to be OK. Go with the changes. Be
strong like water, not like a volcano. Let life take you where you are meant
to go and be glad.
Love always wins.
Maura
